


Nine Types of Lube

by sammichgirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, People of Walmart, Wincest - Freeform, sometimes I think others would see the Winchesters as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22175830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammichgirl/pseuds/sammichgirl
Summary: On the ninth day of Christmas, nine types of lube...
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21
Collections: Wincestmas 2019





	Nine Types of Lube

**Author's Note:**

> Written for wincestmas 2019, graphic and story gifted to [nevergettingoverwincest.](http://nevergettingoverwincest.tumblr.com/)

[](https://imgur.com/62mstEu)

Sam had finished gathering items for his part of the shopping list when he met up with Dean near the registers. He’d been in charge of groceries, to include beer and pie, per his brother’s usual request. Dean had more the actual hunting supplies they needed, but he always let Sam get the groceries when they were together because Sam’s affinity for healthy snacks and salads knew no bounds. Sam meticulously checked off each item from the list and was starting to review the contents of Dean’s cart when he stopped cold.

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Sammy?” Dean was munching on a bag of pork rinds, resting against his cart without a care in the world.

Sam dropped his tone to a whisper, his face having gone completely splotchy red in embarrassment. “Dude, why are there _so many_ bottles of lube?”

Dean flicked his eyes over to Sam, grinning in wicked delight. He spared no murmuring reply as he casually answered, “For your ass, Sam.” Tossing back another pork rind, he watched Sam whip his head around to see if anyone had heard, chomping away as he reached for more.

People had heard. Judging by various looks of surprise, intrigue, disgust and general amusement around them, people had most definitely heard.

_Crunch, crunch, crunch._

“ _Dean_ ,” this time it was hissed and Dean’s smile couldn’t be wider if he tried.

“Still here, Sammy.” Watching his little brother huff his chest and bitchface at him was the best thing about shopping with him for supplies. For one, it was his right as the big brother. Secondly, when time and situation allowed, a good pranking was always fun. Plus, this store turned out to have a very wide variety of lubricants especially made for anal sex, and Dean was going to try every single one on Sam. Eventually. So bonus, this prank was useful.

“You. There’s – I can’t…” Sam slumped his shoulders, defeated before he even tried to argue. Knowing his brother, it was no use and would likely make the situation worse. He wasn’t sure if Dean was truly kidding or if he honest to God thought this was part of their standard shopping. That much lube was certainly not on the list. Compared to all the salt, lighters, ammo, rope and lighter fluid cans, it probably seemed the most sane. Or altogether the most insane. Better to keep a low profile, all around. They didn’t want to be memorable.

Finally, it was Dean’s turn to check out, and he proudly thumped each bottle on the conveyer belt, licking his lips while he obscenely checked Sam out head to toe before moving on to the rest of his cart.

When Sam thought it couldn’t get any more embarrassing, the wide-eyed girl at the register whose nametag said Sarah gave a small gulp and bent her head towards Dean to softly say, “I need a price check on this one.”

She looked from Dean to Sam and back to Dean, who shrugged and nodded as he popped another pork rind in his mouth.

Her voice wavered, but the call rang out across the PA system, “Price check on Rear Entry Anal Lube, register 9.”

Sam was beyond mortified. Giving Dean a dirty look, he swore under his breath. _Dammit._

Dean chuckled and leaned against the counter, fake whispering to Sarah, “He’s just ashamed because it’s his ass on the line. I say, we do it right, right? Don’t wanna wreck that peach permanently.”

“ _DEAN_.” Sam Winchester, humiliated beyond all thought as he pushed his cart into Dean’s hip, bitchfaced again, and stormed off, a thunderous dark look on his face.

Dean cackled as Sam left, swiftly pulling the groceries out of the abandoned cart to add to his total. “Might as well add these to mine, sweetheart. Looks like I won’t be getting lucky tonight after all.” He winked at Sarah as he hummed Led Zeppelin’s Ramble On and swiped their current fraudulent credit card to pay.


End file.
